I looked at my own cervix.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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