He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Randomize