it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize