she woke up with a sticky ear
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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