did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
