When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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