i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
