I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
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