Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
