That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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