So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
