alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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