AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
