just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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