so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
