Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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