Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize