Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(425): View more from Washington

got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.

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(443): View more from Maryland

he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad

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(219): View more from Indiana

about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?

(219): View more from Indiana

yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?

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19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Read it at the TFLN blog
(413): View more from Massachusetts

she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust

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(740): View more from Ohio

besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?

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(305): View more from Florida

What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..

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(602): View more from Arizona

It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns

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(937): View more from Ohio

Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.

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