Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
My throat feels like a candle.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"