at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
