Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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