Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
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That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
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Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
as a side note pls kill me
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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