My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
