Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
