Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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