yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
