No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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