The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
