drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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