My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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