I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
