I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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