Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
it glows. i had to have it.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
