He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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