just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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