I need help removing her.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
