i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
