Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
