I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
