Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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