So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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