Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize