Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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