Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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