so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
