i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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