what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She bit a glass in half.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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