I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
