still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
