my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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