yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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