Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
