umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
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