This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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