Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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