Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
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