Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
