Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
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I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
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I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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