Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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