ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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