You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
