your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
