Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
