OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
