I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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