i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize