On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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