4 words: hood of his car
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I have aggressive nipples.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
