I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize